Eile kulges paev toesti toredasti

"The Hashish Club probably met no more than eight or nine times. Nor is there any evidence that Baudelaire himself tried the drug more than once or twice; in any event he compared it unfavorably to wine, which he thought was more 'democratic' because cheaper and more widely available (like Oscar Wilde, Baudelaire was both a 'socialist' and an aesthetic snob). To be precise, he praised both wine and hashish for promoting 'the excessive poetic development of mankind', but he pointed out that wine exalts the will, hashish annihilates it. Wine is a support to the body, hashish is a weapon for suicide. Wine makes people good and friendly, hashish isolates. One is hard-working, so to speak, whereas the other is essentially lazy. Why would anyone bother to work, to plogh, to write, to make anything at all, when with one blow he can attain paradise? Wine is for those people who work and deserve to drink it. Hashish belongs to the category of solitary pleasures; it is made for unhappy idle. Wine is useful, it produces fruitful results. Hashish is useless and dangarous." (Edmund White, The Flaneur - A Stroll Through the Paradoxes of Paris).

Eile loppes ohtu laohoones reivi kylastades. See oli minu ajaloo yks parimaid pidusid siin Melbourne's. Kella ~5 paiku hommikul tuli politsei sisse ja sulges peo. Inimesed olid eriliselt sobralikud ja roomsad. Pidu oli ohus. Tuttav suudles mind ootamatult ja saatis keelega mulle suhu pooliku ecstasy tableti. Olin eelnevalt otsustanud mitte proovida, aga selline lahenemine ja minu roomus meel ja uudishimu panid pilli alla neelama.

Olgu oledud, et pole harvad juhud, kui minu poole poordutakse sooviga pille osta. Tuttavad on oelnud, et see tulenevat minu roomsameelsest ja vabast kaitumisest.

Aga mida ma siis kogesin...
1. tantsimine muutus lihtsamaks
2. kui inimesed mu vastu puutusid, siis tundus see sobralik zest olevat, mitte otsa koperdamine
3. inimesed tundusid sobralikumad, ma ise sobralikum, lihtsam oli suhelda ja puudutada
4. puudutused muutusid sensuaalsemaks
5. energiat tuli juurde

Jah, koik see on saavutatav ka ilma pillita.

Jargmine paev soovisin, et see lainetusetunne ja keemia mu kehast kaoks. Aga vahest haru-haru-harva 1x aastas monusal peol, miks mitte... voib-olla, voib-olla mitte.